Enter: The Slaughter House

It was a hot but quiet Friday afternoon. As I switched off the ignition of my car, I took a deep breath before stepping out of my car. Heavy footsteps brought me inside the unusually quiet clinic. There's only one other patient in front of me and both of us were trying to immerse ourselves with the programme shown on the TV while waiting for our turns to be called.

All of a sudden, I heard a loud but slow and breathless moan. It sounded like an old lady. Heaven knows what was happening to her as she let out a couple more of those moans. My hands started to feel cold. Within a minute, I heard another scream! This time, it was from a man. Similarly, he let out a couple more screams and concurrently, I could hear some hacking sounds done by a pair of naked karate hands. Not long after, my number flashed on the queue system.

Before I know it, I was proned onto a treatment bed, with all the vacuum cups over my back. A 40+ lady had done the ba2 guan4 on me and I must say it wasn't the worst (most painful) experience I had with them as I didn't even let out a whimper. While waiting for the sinseh to come, another patient came in and laid in the partition beside mine. The lady asked him why he had not returned for a follow-up treatment. The poor man sheepishly said it was painful. As the ba2 guan4 process was carried out on him, I can hear him moaning helplessly like a voice-breaking school girl going through puberty.

Then came the terrifying 2 minutes. The Sinseh came and this time round, that helpless voice-breaking school girl going through puberty came onto my body. I thought I would be better off dead than to go through his moves (though I perceived myself to have a higher threshold for pain).

At the end of the treatment, I felt like a raped school girl. It's like bang wham thank you mdm and the next moment, the same lady came to put the ko yiok on me, pulling my underwear slightly down and after pasting, pull my underwear up and ended off with a 'piak' as she releases it. The next minute, I was paying $30 at the counter for another pack of ko yiok and some dark pills. The bad news was, I had to return two days later (today).

It was actually an old injury, a back sprain at the lower right back. I had gotten it a early this year when I had tried to do a diving save of Boyboy's bottle when he threw it onto the ground. This recent bout was due to carrying him and walking for a long distance. He sure have put on quite some weight.

Today's session was quite the opposite. The ba2 guan4 was done by, I think the sinseh's 20+ year old daughter. Quite cute looking but she almost killed me with her moves and still had the cheek to ask me gently, "Is it okay?" I could only offer a whimper as my reply before she carried on to tear my skin and break my spine.

Then came the sinseh. Another harrowing moment but somehow, it was shorter and not as severe as the first session. Slightly more bearable than the first time. The rest was history and the girl did not 'piak' my underwear as she stuck the ko yiok on me.

There's a third session this coming Tuesday and I hope it is the last and even less torturous than the previous 2 sessions. My biggest regret is that my car now smells of TCM ko yiok instead of the fresh new leather car smell as my car had gone for servicing and grooming on Thursday. Sighed!