Lost or Aimless?

Or is it simply feeling restless and de-motivated?

A colleague whom I'm quite close with has told me that her last day of work is 31st Aug. Shocked and demoralised. I've lost count already. The number of close colleagues who have either requested successfully for a transfer, tendered resignation letters or going off for early retirements has been taking a toil on me (on top of the work).

Perhaps this is the natural phenomenon once there is a change in the leadership helm. But definitely it is very de-moralising to those who are still holding on (on their own freewill) or stuck (against their will).

Anyway, all these happenings aren't helping the fact that we all could not concentrate on our jobs due to the various 'corporate' goals of this system. I'm beginning to feel tired and lost. Don't know where I'm heading to with each passing day. The external environment isn't helping me much to remain focus.

Just how many of us (working adults in general) really wake up looking forward to work? I do not have a glorious resume and have hopped around quite a bit for various reasons (better prospects, friendlier environments, greater powers, higher pay and job satisfactions etc). However I can't seem to find the 'One' that can give me a sustainable 'high'. Or am I being being aimless and random?

Many of us are willing to subject ourselves to these invisible chains because we work to live. We're the rats that are running in laps and rounds in this society, searching for the bacon that is to be served on the dining table by the day's end. Just how happy can we be?

How about we live to work then? Well there are people who have so much passion in their jobs that every breath they take and every heartbeat is devoted to work. Does it sound sad? To revolve your life around your job and have no other life?

Well at least they are happy. Life is short. Live a happy one, or at least try.

Maybe I really don't know what I want, or what is the thing that can satisfy me once and for all. Just how many of us have that answer? Living and working day by day goes ain't going to sustain me. By right now I still have not gotten the guts to tread along the unconventional paths. Why? Too many things at stake? I don't know. The only thing I know is I need the Answer.

I need a break, both physically and mentally.Perhaps that's the only way to find the Answer. Well, knowing the Answer is just the first step. The next step will be to summon enough guts to execute the plans.

So my friend, have you found your own Answers?

Till then, I shall continue to strike out each passing day on my calendar to preserve my illusion that time is flying, and that going through the daily work misery is the only expectation of me from this 'transaction'.

"We live in a beautiful world... yeah we do, yeah we do... "

(Coldplay)